2.10.2004

Learning to be a good parent...
(when the ice melts, the temp rises, and the races start I will be more focused on cycling, until then....it is all about family on my BLOG)
((and if it snows.....you will hear of my antics on the XC Skis))


right now Dean is two and half
he wins every battle
it is not that he is spoiled
he is strong willed
lisa and I need to find some tactics to start winning SOME of these battles

the battles are small but they comeback to bite you....
"I wanna sleep in the mommy bed."
so rather than fight it
we take him and lie him down in the mommy bed
lisa and I are both tired and are not looking for a fight
it was tough enough to convince him to go to bed
the time is rapidly approaching 10
neither of us have really had a chance to put our feet up after a long day at work
so he falls asleep and is transferred to "the big boy bed" after he drifts off to a deep sleep
the failure of this
he then requests to sleep in the mommy bed the next night, and then everynight
each night we buckle for the same reasons
too tired to fight
tired from carrying him up the stairs and placing him gently in the bottom bunk of his bed
tired from a long day of work
tired from just a long day
we put him down in his bed and tip toe away
only to hear a stamped of little footsteps
and then when he enters the room and announces, "I don't want to go to bed."
the game starts again, to convince him to go to bed
our strategies are different
I let him play, as I see he is getting tired
I offer for him to take the toy he is playing with to bed with him
there have been nights where he was put in bed with several Buzz Lightyear action figures a few dinosaurs
and sometimes whatever was in bed from the night before
then once in bed lisa and I will sit idlely
waiting to hear those footsteps of maybe a stealth approach
where he just appears like a ghost
standing silent at the door with his "fire" (his pacifier, used for sleeping only) and his blanket (which has no cute name)

then once in bed and asleep
lisa has a few moments to her self
well, maybe a few seconds, where she cleans up the house and preps for the day to come
washes up and gets ready for bed
climbs into bed, can not read even if she would like to, as the light would wake Dean
as for me, the night owl in me grants me more time
I have time to work on freelance design projects, tune up one of my many bikes, or read a good book
although I have the time for any of these activities, my actions usually involve a glass of wine, sometimes two

if I am lucky enough there is Monster Garage, Monster House, American Chopper
if not to save my thumb from carpal tunnel syndrome I tape the channel scan button down
and just watch the channels change
it goes around and around and around
as the clock approaches midnight I question why I did not go to bed an hour ago
head up stairs
brush my teeth
flip the light on in the bedroom to see if Dean, Roscoe, or Brutus are in my spot
climb into bed

fall asleep only to wake up to dean at 5am demanding an apple juice
now, it would be easy enough to say no and go back to bed
but in my ignorant state I gave him a sippy cup full of juice several times before
so now it is expected
as they say, "it is tough to put the genie back in the bottle"

we pay for our mistakes
we script our own misery
this little battles all add up
right now Dean is not only winning the battle, he is winning the War

in an effort to make a moment easier
we are making our lives harder
Lisa and I are currently regrouping and planning our next offensive
we want Dean happy but we also want our lives back
or at least a solid nights sleep from time to time

since this was written we now have Dean sleeping in his own bed
and sleeping through the night
he gets up early
climbs into our bed
he wiggles and he giggles
often kicks me in the head
on my lucky days he falls back asleep and we wake up late
on most days we both wake up and I console him as mommy goes off to work
then we do our thing
we walk the dogs
I drop dean off at daycare
then I get on my bike and head to work

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