4.28.2004

ULTIMATE COUNTER or ULTIMATE DEPRESSION
I was catching up with the actions of Jenny in Cali on her BLOG page when I noticed her COUNTER
I thought to myself that I may want a COUNTER
with a COUNTER I would like to know how many people are visiting my site
then I realized that a COUNTER would actually show me how few people are visiting my site
rapidly I played forward to my nights in front of the computer
there I could picture myself sitting with wide eyes with bursting blood vessels staring blankly into my computer screen
never blinking
waiting
just waiting
waiting for the COUNTER to move
hitting REFRESH to see if someone had logged on but that the COUNTER had not updated
feeling a raise of excitement in my heart
and
some butterflies in my stomach seeing that the counter had in fact clicked
then growing sad realizing that the COUNTER only clicked because I had loaded the page again
I was causing the COUNTER to COUNT
that I am my only reader
the comments via HALOSCAN increase because I comment there
and then my COUNTER WOULD COUNT from my own viewing of my own BLOG page
it is all very sad

if I were ever to publish a book
it would be dangerous
I would go bankrupt buying all the books to try and get myself on the Best Seller List!

[a friend of mine who once had aspirations of being a Juke Box hero told me that in the record biz they often use that method of buying their own records to put the records on the charts...they know which months are slow and they make their move then....I guess they sell the unused CDs (well LP records from the date in which that tale was told) back to the record stores when they start requesting more as they have grown to be so popular......not unlike a person I knew who used to get Airline Miles when she used her American Express card...when ever at dinner...she gathered the cash and paid with her Credit Card...always paid her bills on time...and get this....she got cash advances and paid the cash advances immediately....all to get more Airline Miles...they caught onto the cash advance loop hole, but only after she traveled the world]

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