6.08.2004

Journal
So much happens in each of our everyday lives that we rarely take notice of it. We go through phases and changes, we exist on certain levels and think we will maintain there forever, and we hold ideas or memories and feel that they will always be there at the surface to be retrieved. Then one day we are sad to find that our memories and ideas have faded and have been replaced with more recent and relevant ideas and memories, this can be sad...whether it is the memory of a special day in childhood or the idea that was the basis of the All American Novel that was going to get you a couple of million bucks and the freedom for you to quote Johnny Paycheck and say, "take this job and shove it!"

There is a cameraman here at work....he is a nice guy....I do not know him well....but I have known him for years. When Dean was born he gave me a present, a hardback journal with blank pages. From time to time as we pass in the halls, and not every time we pass in the halls, he asks me if I have been keeping a journal, I try to mention my BLOG, he rolls his eyes and says, "you have a pen, you know how to use it, WRITE!" He may be right.

This weekend past my wife Lisa went to Syracuse NY for a ladies bonding session. One of her college room mates has been battling breast cancer for years, she thought she had beat it, but as it turns out the cancer that attacks the younger women is far more aggressive. The treatments with all of their successes have given way to the cancer. She is declining. Lisa and a slew of her girlfriends from college went up to spend some time with a near and dear friend. To allow for this to be a girl's weekend I took on the duty of watching our two sons; Dean who is rapidly approaching 3 years and Grant who is just surpassed the 3 month mark. She was only gone for 36 hours, but with a baby crying in my arms 36 minutes can seem like a lifetime. Durning that short span of time I lived through many lifetimes, even after calling in the reserves for gaps within the day.

One of the more memorable moments in the weekend was when it was rapidly approaching 10PM, hours past Dean and Grant's bed times, I was trying trouble shoot Grant's crying: his diaper was clean and fresh, he clothing was crisp and clean, the climate in the room was comfortable, it had not been that long since he last ate...but I opted to feed him again. After warming the 'pumped' breast milk to the appropriate temperature I was in trying to feed Grant. It was a very frustrating moment. Dean was at my side issuing orders...."he needs the breast milk from the bottle!....he is hungry!....let me feed him!" Then Dean and I started wrestling for the bottle, I could not break Dean from his objective, so I allowed him to try and feed his baby brother. Dean being just under three could not quite get the sublties of the situation, his angle was a tad off with the bottle and his efforts were not as gentle as they could be, but his heart was in the right place. We took turns, neither having any success, so I rushed everyone to the car. Dean had the responsibility of the bottle (the same responsibility I entrusted with him the next day, where on the departure of the front door he got slightly distracted and traded his younger brother's bottle of breast milk for a his baseball mitt and ball) We moved towards the car as if we were rushing a ticking bomb from a student filled elementary school. Once in the car I tried to drive down the road and feed Grant the bottle, all the while Dean was instructing me...."he does not want the bottle, let him be, leave him alone....he does not want the bottle." As you can imagine it was a moderately stressful moment. Grant never took the bottle, we had a nice drive through Rock Creek Park, Dean excitedly looked for deer and we discussed where they might be on this rainy night, oh, and more importantly, Grant fell asleep. With Grant asleep we pointed for home, mission accomplished. We were gone for such a short time span that the same parking spot on the street remained free right in front of our Mount Pleasant abode. I took the car seat out and put grant on the ground, unclipped Dean's harness, and leaned in to grab Dean. Dean turned mission accomplished into Mission Impossible and leaped to the driver's seat. I gave him some fatherly demands, grant woke up, I increased my fatherly demands, Dean told me that I scared him, but climbed out of the driver's seat, into the back seat, out the back side door, and into my arms. I carried Dean and crying Grant back into the house. Somebody needed to go to bed, well, that someone may have been me, but in this case it was Dean. It was late, way late. Some gentle rocking in the car seat and Grant was back to sleep, I rushed upstairs with Dean and enjoyed the few moments while Grant was asleep....was able to make the transfer from the car seat to the couch, he rested there in the 'boopy pillow" for a while, but when I tried to transfer him to his crib I was back to square one.

This continued. Finally I was able to get him to sleep on my shoulder as I walked the sidewalk back and forth in front of my house, then he slept as I watched an episode of KUNG FU the original tv series I have on DVD. Finally when he woke, he took the bottle and accepted the transfer to his crib. He fell asleep and so did I. Upon lisa's return I learned that I had forgotten to give Grant some reflux medicine, and that may have been the cause of his inability to sleep. Lessons learned.

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