8.26.2004

My Man Made Black Cloud...
Although most of the issues that gather together to become one massive black cloud overhead are fabricated by my own actions...this does not mean that the stress is artificial. The stress has been great enough that it is visible from the outside, this can not be good. My boss asked me how much vacation I had left for this year...upon my response that all of my vacation still remains...he said, "you should use it....you need it....come back refreshed and focused." Does this mean that my performance is not peak or does it mean that my personality is less than copasetic? Either way....I will take his advice and try to recharge my batteries. But before I can get a full charge on my batteries I feel that I need to do everything that I can to destroy the BLACK CLOUD that hovers above me and lurks in the recesses of my brain.
On the home front all is well, Lisa and I are good....it is marriage so it can be work and it can be hard, but we are good. The boys are healthy and strong. Dean is growing like a weed, dropping his infant/toddler ways fast and furious; no more fire (pacifier) and no more Linus-like blanket behaviors...no pull up in the day....and soon to be no pull up in the night (to those without wee ones in their world....Pull Ups are the diapers for the bigger/older kids who are moving away from the diaper needs) Grant has become this grand explorer. His ability to crawl is fed by his need to explore. LOOK OUT! Grant must be watched and followed....he is following in Dean's footsteps for being an action magnet which leads to DANGER and DESTRUCTION! Anything and everything goes to his mouth. Today I thought I was being attacked by Hannibal the Cannibal as he sampled my nose.
On the darker side of things....
The deck project is moving forward. Rather than stumbling through AUTOCAD I went ahead and created some Deck Plans in Adobe Illustrator. They are less than perfect, but anything is better than my chicken scratch handwriting and my scraggly scribbles that I call drawings. I will print them out...review them....add to them...and see if I can pay a runner to take them over to the Permit Office. Better to pay someone than to use a vacation day for a stressful day of waiting for my number to be called, and the Permit Guy may be able to help me shore-up the plans for approval. As I am neither contractor or architect....these drawings are lacking.
My big blue truck, the 1984 Toyota Landcruiser has a FOR SALE sign on it. Like a fool with no desire to sell it....the price is twice its Blue Book value..no bids yet. I think that dontating the truck to charity is a better idea. This week I will slash the prices before I make the call to give the truck away!
Soledad is not taking the other nanny job. To our delight our friend and nanny, Soledad, will continue to watch Grant three days a week. What a relief. She is so great with Grant. And always on time and all the other great things one looks for in a nanny!
The SM100 Mountainbike Race is right around the corner. Racing and riding should be fun. But this race is around the bend. I look forward to it. I look forward to it being over. I want to have success at this race, success means finishing (top half would suit me fine but I may have to settle for at all.) This race may be more than I am prepared for, but I have a strong will....and a strong will can carry a person pretty far....hopefully it can carry me 100 miles off road.
What else was there?
There are always more issues in the world than we can see in front of our faces. If you owe the IRS money. You may not even realize it, but your subconscious does. It is a silent invisible Black Cloud, perhaps the more vicious black cloud there is. I do not owe the IRS money right now..but I have so I know.
Selling my truck will be a great relief....then I will no longer have Maryland tags in the city....so my worries will be less about parking tickets and more about the thieves in the night.
well....best I get to the tasks at hand
it is not good for my boss to walk in and see this dam BLOG page
he is now cognizant of my addiction
He is a great guy, but he does not understand much of my life.
He does not get bikes and he does not get blogs.....

bye for now

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