11.16.2004

College can be a weird time.....
and this is most definitely an odd post
perhaps not a post for all
read further at your own risk
this post is not a good sample of my usual topics
as I tend to blog about bikes and my life
but the college topic had me thinking of the weirdness which was college life

College can be a weird time
I most certainly was surrounded by a weird bunch, disfunctional may very well describe things better than weird. There were some more odd, I mean disfunctional, than others. Names should not be named as these people may have been able to gather their wits and live and act in a more sensible fashion; or at least able to repress their disfucntional impulses.

There was one person who in particular effected the campus in a awkward and strange way. He was moist and pear shaped with an odd amount of charisma. Had the campus not loved him so much there is no way that anyone would have put up with him. Our relationship was odd, more like brothers than friends. We were friends, but the static was strong, stronger than our friendship, we battled and we argued, yet we continued to gravitate towards each other. He was always showing up at parties wearing my clothes, as well as climbing from the outside deck of his second floor apartment to our third floor apartment to fix himself some snacks; always leaving the dirty dishes behind, invading my personal space, exposing himself far too frequently.

Trying to find a story or a tale that would sum him up best.....

The naked iguana was always a grand performance of his.....or his manic attacks that ended in a PINK FLOYDESQUE experience as he broke nearly everything he owned and lined it up in the living room just as was done in The Wall....his Sam Kineson yells...or his inability to respect anyone else's personal space...

back up a second...the Sam Kineson screams may be the path to follow

this moist pear shape beast would walk about his day doing his daily things, he would shout out utterances that appeared to be non-sensical
"It is in my ass! In my ass!"
"Professor Myers is in my ass!"
"Dorchester Hall is in my ass!"
and so on
you name it
and he said it was in his ass!
it was only years after the fact that I was able to pair his yelling with some of his behavior

there was a time when this same odd character was living off campus in a trailer
it was in God's country, Ridge Maryland, God lives in Ridge
it was a small trailer that shook with great residence each time an acorn hit the roof
not sure how this unlikely pair got together to room togehter
guess it was another situation of a brotherly relationship rather than friends
as they were not always friendly, their interactions were more like Cain and Able than Akbar and Jeff
well...
so we were in Ridge meeting at the trailer for a drink before we really went drinking
I will make this fast and as painless as possible
not sure what we were looking for
as everything was forgotten as I stumbled in on something that no many, women, or child should ever see

In the side bedroom there was an odd gathering of what one would usually think as unrelated things....a tub of Country Crock margerine, an Atari joystick, and an adult magazine

it was clear what it was all being used for
and no one was playing SPACE INVADERS...or were they?
maybe the game was Asteroids?
okay enough already

so I discovered that this guy was running about campus yelling that unrelated things were "in his ass"
seems that this moist pear shaped beast was bored with his excessive masturbation habit
and had taken to some sort of alternate stimulation
guess that college is a time for education and discovery
in and out of the classroom

I will Post this entry for now
may end up deleting it later
it is a story that is funny when shared among friends
but
is just gross and weird when shared with strangers

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