3.29.2006

marriage

marriage is many things
one thing marriage is not... is easy

marriage is a friendship, a union, a love affair, a diplomatic partnership
the list goes on
marriage can also be a pain in the ass
but so can any relationship
especially a relationship that puts two people together in close quarters for such a long period of time
there is no other friendship other that siblings that ask people to live and grow together like this
friends come and go... then return again
family is there for the long haul
just as the relationship of siblings has highs and lows so does marriage
all relationships take work

one difference between siblings and marriage (and no don's say sex) is the aim to make the other a better person
that is one of the primary goals of marriage
marriage is a relationship where each person works to aid the other in becoming the best person that they can be
that is not an easy task
especially since men and women are different animals with a different approach to doing things and a different approach to presenting a thought

this morning was a a basic morning
my hyper efficient wife was up with the boys drinking coffee getting things done
as I am scheduled to be the "late guy" at work this week I had more time about the house
lisa asked to switch dogs for boys
so I dropped my older son off at school while lisa walked the mutts
I love the occassional switch
I love to drop my son off at school
it is special because I do not do it everyday
I think I would hate to do it everyday
especially since I can hardly make it into work on time as it is
one more task would make my mornings more insane

after dropping dean off at school
I passed grant back of to lisa
the dogs were wagging their tails
while I was dragging my tail
still had to get ready and get into work

as I gathered my gear lisa and I updated each other on all the goings on...
there was talk about drop off and the interactions there
there was admission that our son may be normal and not a genius
as parents we only see the dynamic moments and ignore the short comings
there was talk about the approaching weekend and the scheduling of more activities
no dinner with friends
yes to circus with family
soccer... yoga... extended hikes with the dogs... maybe some sleep
it amazed me that my wife can do more before 9am each morning than I manage all week

in our talk we discussed the gear that Dean will need for his first soccer game this weekend
I offered to go to Sports Authority after work to grab this stuff
there was hesitancy in my wife's response
trying to read her mind
much of marriage is trying to read your wife's mind
I quickly retracted the idea
trying to agree with her that it was a bad idea and should have never been presented

there was a long pause
lisa said it was a good idea.... that I would get "a ride in"
there was some short back and forth
I tried to lessen the commitment and said that we could confirm in the afternoon
still thinking that I had presented an idea that did not work for the team
the decision was final... lisa said that it would work
she could put the kids to bed while I went out to northern virginia on my bike to the sports authority at crystal city

such actions take planning
a cyclist must travel with lights and a lock for such an adventure
in this case I will ignore the lock
knowing that it may work to bring the bike into the store
as I have done it before with no complaints or reprimand

this is a case where my wife is looking out for me
trying to help me be a better me
helping to carve away time for me to ride my bike
riding my bike is something I want to do
sometimes I lack the motivation to ride
other times I lack the time to ride my bike
this is a time that lisa helped to create so I could ride my bike
in this lisa is aiding me to become a better person
she is helping me to be the me I want to be

now if I could only get her to go to YOGA
sadly enough.... tonight would be the night for her weeknight class
she is so out of the rhythm of going to yoga that it does not even hit her radar
now it is my turn to try and help her to be the best lisa she can be
try and help her to do the things that she wants to do
try to help her to be the person she wants to be
as I said it is not easy
it is tough to motivate oneself
perhaps even more difficult to motivate another
but... I do try
when I succeed.... it is best for all involved

got my lights
got my list
left the lock at home
hope the temperature does not drop as I ony have gear for a spring day ride
it should be a nice night on the Mount Vernon Trail
I do love the sight of the monuments from the virginia side of the potomac

2 comments:

Endurosnob said...

Great post.

Squirrel said...

Deep, long and so right:) Have I told you I just love waisting company time here:)

Peace