3.11.2014

(DRAFT UNFINISHED) I am not the Great Santini... I am me... a strange meld of slacker dad and Tiger Dad


Chilling online but planning on getting on the bike w Dean
Like ·  ·  · 13 minutes ago via Strava ·

it is true...
I am a Type A Slacker
the Type A Slacker is a strange breed
a twisted combinations of polar opposites
but it is true... I am a Type A Slacker

make that Type A Slacker a parent and well
you get an interesting monster
most parents are monsters
the Type A Slacker Parent is an interesting monsters

I am that interesting monster... the Type A Slacker Dad

I am a type
we are all types
I am a rare and unusual type
my strengths and my weakness dance together

it is tough to be a drill sergeant  to you kids
but most any and all family activities happen with the kids at gunpoint
screen time or one screen incarnation is the default setting of kids today
motivation comes from structure or parental lead activities

this morning came up and almost evaded me
last night I burned the midnight oil as I played with images from the DC Bike Party
was having a good time looking through what I had
there is some tedium
as there are many blurred images which necessitate the redundant task of hitting the delete key




there there is usual a slight cropping and an adjustment of the levels
my post production editing is a minimal process
I try to be fast, efficient, and almost robotic
gotta motor through
instead of sharing a Gwadzilla's Greatest Hits
I like to be generous and document more
and lessen my vanity and less than perfect photos come out as I feel that each person enjoys being representative

so... staying up late caused me to sleep late
rather late
real late
so late that I did not feed my younger son then instruct him to go to Karate this morning

he was up... he was aware of the morning task... he was watching television and lost track of time
so when I woke up he raged on me
like it was my fault
sort of but not really

so I focused on my older son Dean... who climbed back into bed just as he should be starting to get ready
interestingly enough my younger son has a better sense of time and commitment than my older son
Dean is a little happy go lucky while Grant is very matter of fact
so... I was surprised that Grant missed Karate without my assistance but confident that Dean would miss Karate if I did not guide his actions

once Dean's momentum to get suited up/fed/and off to Karate I started to motivate Grant to go for a morning hike with the dog
he was trying to weasel out of it
trying to petition for a shorter distance

then when we finally stepped out the door
Grant being dressed and ready long before me
we ran into Lisa... Lisa was back from the John Eaton Tree Sale and had a schedule for hair cuts for the two of them... this cut our hike short

or did it have to?
the short was cut short and the pace was pushed up

Grant gave me the usual... "you carry the leash! I am not walking the dog!"
we had the usual exchange about how kids dream about having a dog
how there was a time when he begged to get a dog
but now I have to force him to walk the dog and instruct him to feed the dog and put water in the dog's bowl

a few steps out the door and Grant's fighting had stopped
it is unseasonably warm today
there is still snow and ice on the ground from the SNOW DAY earlier this week
but not much

the weather is warm for December
no need for hat or gloves
a sweater or light jacket is almost enough
some coverage.... not shorts... but warm for winter

into the woods and Didg gets the scent of something
shockingly Didg is coming back and looping with Grant and myself without the need to do much more then give a whistle and a shout
we loop behind the Rosemount Center then cross the road and get in the fireroad headed to Klingle Mansion
before getting to the open meadow by Klingle Mansion we drop down into the hiking trails in the woods

a glance at my watch and I make note that we need to accelerate the pace
we move from forced march to scramble
I am jogging
Grant is pretty much sprinting

then it happens
the trail is pretty buff, but there are some occasional roots and rocks
at high speed nine year old Grant launches into the air then lands in a roll and a tumble
he is down and not getting right back up

the twenty or so yards ahead gives Grant enough time to stir a little before I get to his side
Grant is not yet up and moving
he went down pretty hard but he does not look hurt
there does not seem to be an injury

this is where we lock horns

Grant gets into younger brother I am hurt mode
I get into Tiger Dad mode basically telling him to man up
there is no mention of crying wolf
but as I give him a strong hand up and brush off some of the dirt on his back I guide him to fight back the tears

reminding him of his age and instructing him to shake it off and start moving forward
it is a tough moment
the exact words and exact exchange is not memorized
all I can recall is the tone

two strong personalities
mine versus his
Grant is voicing his take on what happened
while I try to guide young Grant to access his situation
rather than get emotional and over play the incident
to gather his wits and push forward

"but dad I hit my head on a rock"
it is tough... I am being strict... I am being tough...
but Grant does not seem to be hurt
this little man wants to be a strong little leader to his friends
fighting back the tears and excessive whining would be the appropriate way to respond to this sort of fall

we are moving forward
Grant is not hurt
our focus goes from the fall and potential injury to our current time... the distance to home... and the time that mom needs us home
I am confident that we can make our deadline
but I am flexible about our actual arrival time
I would be fine with being five minutes late

our pace is good
there are no more falls
Didg is running fast but keeping with us
Didg is enjoying our faster than usual pace
this gives him less time to socialize and no time to fetch sticks or rocks from the water
yet he is enjoying the running jogging pace to our usual meandering pace

we get home
we are early rather than late

Grant and Lisa gather what they need
I giggle to myself when I look at Grant's dirt covered Addidas sweat suit
then I smile about how things unfolded
a moment's victory as a father

a successful effort to guide a child who often cries wolf to respond appropriately
a rational response rather than an overly emotional response with an exaggeration of the incident and the injury
it is tough to run a filter on the requests, needs, and complaints of the children
Dean and Grant are very different children

No comments: